


Events That Change You Forever

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-18
Updated: 2005-01-22
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin is remembering events of the past and discovers horrible misshappenings of the present.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

1 year earlier:  
Justin was at the airport all alone walking toward the terminal he could feel the tears reaching from his eyes. Nothing seemed important anymore not Rage the movie not Hollywood not Brett Keller. All he could think about now was what he was leaving behind he may have been embracing the bright lights of Hollywood but he was leaving behind the one man that knew how to turn on the bright lights of his heart. To turn on his smile Brian always said that his smile was like sunshine he could light up the room. Although at the moment Justin felt he couldn’t even light a dim candle. When the last call for a one stop flight to L.A was called Justin slowly made his way although never forgetting what he had left behind. Suddenly he heard the sound of the voice that could always calm him down make him realise his fears could be forgotten and help him ease into himself and not be afraid of who he is. He turned to face the one man that could make him weak.

“Are you trying to make this harder than this already is.” Justin could feel the tears streaming down his face and he couldn’t stop them.

“It’s just that you always said that I never said how I felt about you.”

“Don’t do this to me now Brian we agreed you said you couldn’t wait a year and I understand but don’t change who you are to try to make me feel better about this and you.” All Justin could see right now was pain in Brian’s eyes but he had to continue. “Because nothing you say will ever change the way I felt and still feel about you I love you Brian Kinney and I know you do me.”

“Justin just shut up” Brian was starting to get angry at could now not only feel the words but could feel the anger waiting to explode. “ Yes I hate that you are doing this to me at first I thought how could you be so selfish to not even consider staying but then I had a thought that was probably all you were thinking about. And we all know that we have fought to the death about this but one thing I want you to know Justin Taylor is I don’t want you leaving us on bad terms and even though I could never say it you know how I feel.” Justin could feel Brian’s hand upon his face and wanted to take to him home back to the loft and make love until all hours of the morning just like the first time, but he knew things could never stay the same as they were.

Brian was hurting but didn’t want to show his pain to the one person he knew was always stronger always held him up so instead he crashed his boundaries. 

“I love you.”

Justin’s jaw dropped and he flew to Brian’s arms and all seemed like it was good again and time would forever stand still. With that Brian let go although not to Justin’s strong hold on his heart but he knew that he had to for Justin’s career and he always said he would never hold him back. His expression turned from love to anger

“Just fucking Go.”

  
…….. ……..……..……..……..……..……  


Present:  
It has been a year since that fateful night but that’s all Justin’s mind could think of. Even when he tried to drown it out with The Simpson’s. One of the lines was when I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna now that the wind was blowing on his neck it whispered the name Brian. Although they had not been in contact for a whole year Justin needed to know that he was okay still alright moved on although he didn’t really want to know if he was in the arms of a another man caring and protecting him the way he did to Justin he still needed to know. So he rang the one person that he knew would know the truth about Mr Brian Kinney and actually be on speaking terms with him. Debbie.

He dropped the phone and no longer could feel his legs it was as if everything around him had gone numb how could Brian survive without him I mean losing Justin was one thing but without Mikey Brian was a lost soul. Justin had to go back and face everything that he knew would haunt him if he didn’t.

“Mikey’s dead” is all Justin could think although he was never that close to Brian’s best friend he knew how much he meant to him. The one person he admitted to loving. It was going to be a long flight home…


	2. Events That Change You Forever

So I’ve been thinking all day about how I can possibly get close to Brian again he seems so lost so shut out to the world or maybe it’s not the world he’s just shut out to me. The way he looked at me almost made me physically ill how could he feel that way I mean sure I’ve had anger toward him in the past but nothing like that nothing where I actually blamed it all on him even though in come cases I would have like to. I decide I have to try and take my mind of this for a few hours and I go surfing on the internet for someone to top. Hey it may not be Brian but it will do for now I remember a chat room Brian always use to go to and hope to find some pathetic Nelly bottom there. Shit I hope Mikey isn’t online.   
Suddenly I see a name that captures my eye KINGOFLIBERTYBRI. Hello I have found my source.

Blonde angel: Hey there sexy tell me is this the famous Brian Kinney I’ve heard so much about in more ways than one?

King of liberty Brian: Well yes all the rumours are true and you are?

Blonde angel: My name’s JT so tell me your really 9inchs?

King of liberty Brian: JT reminds me of someone I used to know or at least thought I did. And yes and if u don’t believe me why don’t you come over and see for yourself .

Blonde angel: Really who is this someone you used to know and what happened

King of liberty Brian: I feel really weird talking about this to a complete stranger but here goes. His name was Justin he had the bluest eyes you have ever seen and a smile they could light up the world or at least my world. I don’t know he was the first guy that ever truly got me became something more than a fuck and the scary thing is that it happened the first moment I met him I knew it was different. He changed me in so many ways for the better and yet he’s not here for me to hold in my arms because he left a year ago and every time I see him I feel the need to push him away because when he gets to close I get afraid at the fact that I might actually l let how I feel out.

Blonde angel: Oh my god you feel so much for him. Shit I’m crying.

King of liberty Brian: Why are you crying you don’t even know me or him.

Blonde angel: I feel like I do Bri

King of liberty Brian: You just called me Bri no one calls me that except Justin

Blonde angel: Just an abbreviation sorry

King of liberty Brian: JT is this you Justin please tell me it’s you.

Blonde angel: I hope you don’t kill me Bri but yes it’s me I didn’t plan on talking to you through this I just came on to get a trick and I saw you and I just had to .

Blonde angel: what can I say I missed you.

Blonde angel: Bri please respond say something.

King of liberty Brian: I miss you to. Fuck I cant believe you heard me say all that stuff .

Blonde angel: Bri I already knew it you just have never said it so thoughtfully before.

King of liberty Brian: Come over cause I really need someone to talk to. Mikey’s dead and I really need you right now. I want to show you how much I miss you Jus.

Blonde angel: be there in 5 and I love you to Brian.


	3. Events That Change You Forever

As I walked down that familiar road my heart was beating so hard in my chest I thought it was going to break. To think at any moment I could see him, I had been looking forward to this moment for over a year now. But suddenly all of that seemed meaningless for his one true love in life was dead. Mikey may have been a pain in my ass most of the time one thing you could always count on Mikey for was his loyalty and undying love for Brian.

I stood in front of the loft door still having my key from a year back. It felt so surreal to be back in this place of my life again. I never wanted to come back here unless it had three words attached to it and my man standing right behind me, but here I was. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly even though I wanted to run away I knew Brian needed me.

KNOCK KNOCK

He opened the door and it was if the past year had been a dream he looked exactly the same still wearing his 501’s ofcourse not buttoned all the way up, he even smelt the same a smell of stale cigarettes and beam. But my obsessing over the way he looked was soon shot to shit by his anger filled words.

“What the fuck are you doing here.”

“I heard Bri and I needed to see if you were alright.”

Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing Justin had been in Lala land for the past year and now he wanted to know if things were alright. He could feel the rage boiling inside of him.

“Alfuckingright.” “Ill tell you how I am my best friend is dead your living in L.A and basically I have no one, so Justin no I am not alright, but hey I’ve managed for a whole year without you so you can shove your pity bullshit up your ass.”

“Bri listen I just want you to know I’m here for you if you need me ok.”

“ Justin you haven’t been here for a year so don’t start acting like were suddenly in the greatest relationship of all time because that’s bullshit.” “And now you suddenly care what I am going through cause Mikey’s dead well guess what I don’t care what you feel or think cause you obviously stopped caring about that with me along time ago.”

Justin didn’t know what to do what to say. He has never seen Brian look like that at him before he hated him.

“ I just want to understand what your going through.”

“ You want to know what I am going through ok heres how it is, imagine knowing someone your whole life they know you inside and out and then suddenly one day there gone. And then you have this feeling you have never had before you feel that suddenly because there dead a part of you is dead to. I’m DEAD Justin.” “Without you he was the one person I could rely on but now that’s gone too.”  
“So now that you understand get the flying fuck out.”

As Justin was pushed out the door he could see the tears in Brian’s eyes. For everything he had lost but if there was one thing that Justin wasn’t was a quitter and Mikey always told him to get Brian back and now Justin was going to make Brian see light again. He was going to make Brian Kinney LIVE.


End file.
